“Fight” breeds “inner strength”, which as adults, we know is required for survival in the real world; the battleground of hockey, provides its participants regular exposure and real life training. Graduates of any hockey program anywhere in the world, gain real life skills training and a competitive edge in the classroom, workforce and in business because they all possess “inner strength”. I propose we gain a sense of right and wrong; of compassion and we are exposed to hardship, adversity and to winning which all feed emotion, psyche and the soul.
Winning and losing are realities of life. When I work with Olympic, Professional and Junior level athletes we develop mental strategies to manage emotion around success and failure, as both are possible outcome to every situation. Seasoned athletes know from experience that winning and losing are both possible, and neither is definite nor forever. In the sport of hockey, the duration of a shift; a game; and of the season itself puts a demand of players to refrain from celebrating prematurely, and to regulate their emotions through the many small victories and losses, throughout a game and over the course of a season. Hockey breeds patience. It demands it.
Winning and losing with poise, requires character and control of emotions. Control of emotions is essential to every aspect of successful living way beyond hockey, and it is early in the Game of Hockey that a young player is taught to accept consequence and reward, regardless of outcome. We are taught to play with our head held high to avoid hits and to play with pride when we have tried our best. In amateur Sport, the ultimate goal is always to play to the best of one’s ability; naturally an athlete seeks to come out of any contest as victor on the score clock, and the true hockey athlete finds reward in leaving everything out on the ice.
Coaches who define and promote an all out effort as “the” Win, help to promote and preserve self esteem in the individuals who they are privileged to guide and mentor. Individuals, who play in a Sporting system that promotes healthy and sustained work ethic, grow to learn important sport and life skills that they carry with them as building blocks to life success.
How we Win & How we Lose, Matters: In what will go down as one of the more touching moments of the Sochi
Olympics, Swiss cross-country skier Dario Cologna won a gold medal and
then waited 28 minutes to congratulate last-place finisher Roberto
Carcelen of Peru at the finish line. Source: Sochi Olympics
I had the privilege of working with 3-time Paralympic Canadian athlete, Bill Morgan throughout his accomplished career; in one of our meetings he captured the spirit of winning and losing with poise, character and pride, when he provided this mental reflection as we prepared for the Beijing Olympics. He explained to me,
“I WOULD MUCH RATHER LOSE TO A BETTER OPPONENT THAN TO WIN AGAINST AN OPPONENT
I KNOW I COULD BEAT”
For many, the Christmas Holiday Season is a special time to share with family and to reflect on our Faith; for fans of hockey, it is also the time of year to watch the best-of-the-best amateur players showcase their skills and talents while they spill their hearts at the various World Junior Tournaments. The Tournaments have proven to be good predictors of NHL® success, and a rich scouting ground for NHL® franchises. The Tournaments provide a format of play that showcase hockey in a pure, all-out, open format on the large International Standard ice pad.
The rising stars at the Junior Elite level are at a stage in their hockey careers when they are still reaching wide and high; many who watch the Tournaments, enjoy the unencumbered, no-holds-barred style of finesse hockey played by young men barely old enough to shave. Many play a type of Game, the way it was intended to be played; with finesse; in a wide open; gritty; and very fast level. They play for their Country; and they earn global hockey ranking, which ultimately influences their future Individual prospect.
Many fans around the world agree, the World Juniors Tournament hosts some of the best, pure Hockey and it is where we see Winners and Losers in an unbridled, live format.
The Joy of Victory and Agony of Defeat is an element of any high level game or tournament. As I write this Chapter, the memory of fierce 2014 World Junior battles; great competition and a display of highly talented athletes from around the world are all very fresh. Any who watched, witnessed the poise and character held by the many favored Teams, highly ranked and expected victors only to be defeated by stronger opponents. At the World Junior level of hockey, any Team can win if they show up to play; and this year, many teams showed up to play.
While no Country or Team, or player ever shows up to a Game or contest to intentionally lose; it is in the losses of life and in Sport that a true character of a person, and often, the character and substance of a system, are revealed. At the World Junior level, we witness athletes live on T.V. in front of the World, who experience the thrill of victory and the agony of unexpected defeat, and sometimes simply defeat at the hand of stronger opponents. Losing is never easy or fun.
This year, we will remember the young men who played their hearts out, and displayed a maturity of poise and character that is far beyond their years in age, which I believe is bred and programmed into hockey players, by the Game herself.
Hockey players at all levels, experience the ups and downs of hockey life, well before they reach their adult age, and as result, they know what turbulence looks like. In short, they have a head start in life by learning how to develop coping mechanisms that are required to manage stress in life, away from the rink.
Good Coaches remind us to keep our chins high no matter what; to never ever give up; and to appreciate the privilege of play. From day one in Hockey, a child and his or her parents begin to understand the privilege of Play, and the privilege of possessing good Health. We learn also how to push our bodies and our minds. We learn about our own human potential.
In the Sport of Hockey, by design, some children will represent their Communities – whether it is a Community population of 500, or the size of a National Community. At the “Rep-Travel” level and at the Local or House League level in Hockey, the opportunity for a young person and their family to experience the Joy of participating in something bigger than oneself, and to know they are contributing to that bigger “thing”, is naturally realized and felt by all who play.
Gaining a sense of belonging and being safe in that place, while having fun and working towards a common goal are all natural net side-effects of hockey, and it is through the experience of playing Hockey that a person can really feel that Joy.
The good and memorable Coaches teach us that there is no sweeter victory in life, than a moment in our lives when we put everything on the line, and leave everything we got inside our bodies, muscles, heart, and guts “out there” on the ice or whatever field of play we may be on. It is in “the contest” that we find who out we really are, and when challenged, what we can really do.
Hockey is the perfect sport for so many reasons and above all, hockey challenges us at the physical, cognitive, psychological and emotional levels. In my humble opinion and based on my own positive experience, I believe Hockey helps to prepare us for the realities, rigours and nectar of really living; and for life itself.
The winners in Sport emerge, because they find their inner fight and not necessarily because of just a scoreboard victory. The real winners find personal and Team victory when they form bonds and work together; for a common goal and at their own, personal highest level of ability.
No experienced and mindful Coach will ever ask for more, than for a player to play his or her best and it is often the lack of that challenge, that can lead to widespread apathy and laziness in Society.
Hockey demands the best of its participants and it demands it equally to all skill levels, talents and ages.
In hockey, the close quarters in the dressing room, on the bench, Team bus or Coach’s car promotes a physical and emotional connection to people and to our inner self. The flow in and around hockey enables the process of collaboration, of working together to happen seamlessly and often. This magical process happens without intention, without a formal lesson plan and without an external teacher. The Game herself teaches us.
The Game herself teaches us
Coaches who recognize winning and losing with poise, and dignity, to be fundamental building blocks of personal character, and a related quality that promotes life success take advantage of key situations throughout a player’s life in Sport to help his or her players understand what this means and how it feels, in real-time.
Traditional or “old school” Coaches for example would never allow a player to over-celebrate, or to intentionally rub victory in their opponents’ faces, because they themselves embody respect, and want to teach their players about respect for themselves and for their opponents. Winning is always the expected objective and players develop mutual respect, especially as they progress through higher levels of Sport, win or lose.
Hockey Coaches, who teach young players to regulate their emotions in both victory and in loss, teach vital life lessons without formal instruction, and about the intangible qualities of poise and character. These Coaches also look for small victories of each player, throughout the Season, and acknowledge those individual players’ performances and completion of simple tasks; as they know these learning opportunities serve as positive feedback and self-esteem builders for their players.
Naturally, in hockey as in life, poor personal performance and lack of respect or bad attitudes are frowned upon, and many Coaches and teammates don’t tolerate bad behaviour. Bad behaviours in hockey are quickly revealed and quite often dealt with by opponents; referees; peer pressure and when necessary, through Reward-Consequence methods employed by Coaches or Organizations. The system of Hockey is far from perfect and it does somehow naturally reward good behaviour and it reveals bad behaviour, which is a close mirror to life outside hockey.
As a Hockey parent now, and a sitting Hockey Association Board Member, and contributor to the Hockey Canada Program, I wonder if there is anything more important to the healthy development of a child or young adult, than development and promotion of self-esteem. I propose life lesson and self-esteem building are the cornerstones of raising healthy children, and to creating a healthy, stable society of people who contribute to the positive cycle of life.
In my return to Minor Hockey, I have seen strong signs that hockey does provide a readily available platform upon which we, as Parents, Community leaders, Teachers, and Coaches can promote strong and healthy Values and Principles while passing along Life Lessons to our young people. I don’t know where a young person can receive this supplemental opportunity, in this degree or measure, so often and in such an accepted and passive way. My father certainly was right!
If it is not yet clear, I am a fan of Sport, and while I loved playing The Game, my own passion about hockey has little to do with “hockey” (as I thought I knew it).